Sitting at the airport and my flight is delayed.  Ugh.  I hate flying to begin with.  Then I get stck in a aplce I dont want to be surrounded by strangers.  Have I told you how much I hate people in general?  Ugh.  Being surrounded by a thousand people who I dislike just because they are alive sucks.  Unlucky for me, I am broke as a joke.  This trip was more than I could handle.  Emotionally and physically and financially.  But I have no one to even ask for a helping hand.  :(  I am always the one helping...never helped.

I'm done throwing a pity party for myself.  I'm out.

Monday, it 75.  Tuesday, it snows.  Wednesday it's 50.  Today, snow.  WTF?!?!?!

Does anyone else feel like, no matter what you're stuck in a vicious cycle?  Not necessarily a hurtful or unhealthy one, but a vicious cycle none the less?

Just passing this along – hope it helps all.  You can request coupon(s) at https://dtv2009.com/ApplyCoupon.aspx or you can call 1-888-388-2009.

I'm exhausted today.  Although I went to bed a little after midnight (my usual hour is closer to 1 and 2am), I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning.  I didn't make it to work until almost 9:30.  Luckily, I was awake enough at one point to call and say I would be late.

I've slept in my own apartment two nights in a row.  I don't think that has happened since October.  I will be at home much more now.

Last night, while feeling sorry for myself, Techie sent me an IM.  I really needed to talk to someone.  I knew that Techie wasn't the right person, but I talked to him about it anyway.  That lead into a conversation about our past.  I was able to get a lot of things off my chest.  Still I know that I will always have questions to how things really transpired back then. And at the same time, I know that it really doesn't matter.  That's why I've never bothered asking before.  Whatever the answers are, they will not do anything to help me.  I do feel better however, telling him everything that I knew, and getting somethings off my chest.  I've been holding it for three years and I feel like it helped.

Funny enough, my horoscope for the day reads:
The moon in your twelfth is an area of the astrological chart associated with endings and closure. There is an emotional aspect of your life, or possibly even a set of memories that you know no longer help you to move forward. Now is the time to offload that surplus weight from your shoulders! 

I'm not really into this horoscope stuff.  Uly does go by hers and I she checks out my own.  I can relate this to both Techie and my current disappointment.  *sigh*  

 I guess I'll get to work, for real now.

That's what I get.  I know better than to trust people.  I know better than to give without restraint.  I know better than that.  But I haven't learned yet not to do it.  

Add that wound, however small it is, to the others.  But I tell you this - I add it with pride because this wound will shape me, will change me, and hopefully, tomorrow I'll look back at the scar and chuckle - and think about how ridiculous it was that I even let it bleed for a second.

So I thought I'd start writing and just type whatever came out in the order it did.  So here goes.

·         I'm doing nothing for New Years. I keep hearing people and their plans and me - none. I just want to sit at home. I don't feel like dealing with crowds. I don't feel like dealing with strangers. Oh yeah, and I'm broke. So me and Ulyssa will sit at home. We're making our own party damnit. 

Do you/would you snoop in your honey's PC, email, phone, ect? Why? Why not?